Then he gives me 200 virtual “date points” that I’m to distribute among the four traits.
The more I allocate to each attribute, the more highly I supposedly value that quality in a mate.
This experiment, which Royzman sometimes runs with his college classes, is meant to inject scarcity into hypothetical dating decisions in order to force people to prioritize.I think for a second, and then I write equal amounts (70) next to both hotness and kindness, then 40 next to income and 20 next to fidelity.“Oh wow,” he says.“What? Usually women allocate more to fidelity and less to physical attractiveness.A lot of women are looking for something serious and have no interest in participating in your immature wager with friends. He refused to accept it and continued to message me listing all the reasons why we’d be great together.” — Ashley, 30 The problem..the solution: No matter how strongly you feel about your potential with a woman you meet online, accept the break-up gracefully.There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat.
By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
My buddy thinks you’re real and now we have a bet going. ” — Kristin, 26 The problem..the solution: Aside from the fact that this is a pathetic pickup line, it’s certainly never going to work. [pagebreak] DUMPED AND IN DENIALThe scenario: “I went on a few dates with a guy I met online, and I eventually decided we weren’t compatible, so I was honest with him.
If nothing else, she’ll admire the fact that you took the time to “get to know” her.
Edward Royzman, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania, asks me to list four qualities on a piece of paper: physical attractiveness, income, kindness, and fidelity.
One girl we spoke to told a story about a guy who sent her a hilarious quote from the movie she had mentioned in her profile.